Not the end

And just because he's gone,

Doesn't mean there won't be another

Sweety, you're hearts just too bright 

And love is too much of a drug 

For this to be the end. 

Withdrawal Symptoms

Squiggle --- Scratch --- Bam

Her thoughts were running a millions miles a minute, her heart was a pool of chaos. Sleep disturbed. Hunger an alien. Nerves shaking her hands.

Her professors taught her that withdrawal symptoms are seen when you stop drinking and smoking and doing drugs.

Who knew that he could be so addictive and she would be showing symptoms when he left?

The Kiss

 He was from India, She from New York
Met as friends, soon became lovers
3 glorious years they spent together
But alas, summons came from home
And he had to leave.
That last night, they met by the airport
A sweet, deep kiss. Neither wanted to stop
Salty tears just made things harder
But all hope was not lost,
You see... the kiss was a promise of Forever















60 years later
This time another kiss
Surrounded by family and the ones they loved
This time, the summons were for her.
Their years together seemed too short.
Heavy hearts and salty tears,
This time another kiss,
Yet again, it wasn't really farewell,
But a promise of forever.

Life as we know it

She looked away from her laptop, and wondered ‘ wait… what do I really want to do in life’?.

‘Dummy! Concentrate on your paper! Now is not the time to have philosophical discussions with yourself’, said her mind.

‘But wait… what is the point of writing this paper? I mean… I don’t know what to do in LIFE!!!!’ she shouted back.

‘well, you write this, or you can say good bye to your grades’, her mind retorted.

‘Fine’, she conceded, and went back to her paper.

‘Whew! Its 11:46! Atleast I managed to send this is in 14 minutes before the deadline’, she told herself, giving herself a tired mental pat.

‘Now, I can think about my life!’

Just then, her phone pinged with a text. It was the cute guy from her economics class. ‘Hey! Do you want to hang out tomorrow? We could go grab some coffee or something?’ he asked.

‘yay!!!!!’ She did a happy little dance, earning weird looks from the other drowsy kids in the library.

The rest of her night was spent thinking about cute guy, and her philosophical side was pushed away till the next exhausting study session. 

Forget

Forget all your troubles

Come to me my love

Tonight’s all we have

For memories, years from now

Forget about the future

The confusions and doubts of the past

Tonight, let’s dance together

Till tomorrow dawns bright

Let’s join together

Hearts, bodies, souls and minds

Now’s not the time for promises

But the time to rejoice and delight

Forget about them and their rules

Forget about the consequences which follow

Let’s forget everything, ourselves even 

And just be here, now, soul to soul

All that remains now, is you and I 

All that is here, is hearts beating alike

The fears and the overthinking can follow tomorrow

But for now, let’s just be, souls intertwined

The cost of silence

I have read and heard several passionate posts of people talking about the cost of silence. I thought I understood, but I didn’t. Not until it affected my own life. They say that personal experience is the pathway to true learning. They are right.

Keeping my silence was unpleasant. I was not comfortable. I was plagued by guilt and frustration. I did not respect myself. I was angry with myself and I felt plain uncomfortable. But I was too scared to speak up. People would not like me. I would be alone. I felt the need to adjust and compromise till I did not know where I ended and others began. I hated myself and I felt weak. Most importantly, I was easily convinced about how I should look at myself. Why? I did not allow myself to experience what I thought about myself. I defined myself by other people’s opinions and perceptions because I did not trust my own. After all, I did not even allow myself to give voice to how I felt. So then how can I rely on it? Something voice less?

I soon found myself in a nasty entanglement defined by anxiety attacks, vicious cycles of self- doubt, depression and mind games. I constantly suppressed myself and put other people’s happiness and liking above my own. I tried to blend in- not make a scene. My voice, which I had only begun to find back in Chennai was smothered and pushed into a tight box inside of myself. I started to fear everything even more until all I was - was condensed into a tight ball of anxiety – a jumpy, lumpy human mess where good intentions and sensitivity of being were fighting to rise through an ugly mesh of self-doubt and fear of rejection.

In the end, what was I left with? Acceptance and peace of mind? NO. Friends and happiness? NO. Harmony and lightness of being? Hell NO. In the end, keeping my silence costed me everything I wanted. Not only did I not get to keep my friends, I was left with a terrible taste on my tongue – the taste of self-resentment and hopelessness, and THAT, is the cost of silence.

Many of us keep our silences for a variety of reasons – it’s not worth it. Yes, speaking may cause disharmony, but it allows us to experience and share what we feel before it becomes an exaggerated, complicated mess. I have learnt that speaking up can prevent a lot of problems from even happening and ultimately, it sets you free.

So here's to speaking up and helping the world become a more genuine space!